Tuesday, January 29

If the Olsen Twins are so anthropologically smashing, asks Jana, our friend from Toronto, how 'bout triplets? She writes: Wouldn't the thrill of finding a long-lost third party douse all the fascination associated with the two originals? That's why I, the Olsens' long lost triplet, send out a call to be put in touch with their publicist, acquire a third of their fortune, and cavort with them on wildflower beaches both real and cinematic. (Selling the idea that a 26-year old is the missing triplet to a pair of tweens is, I think, no greater marketing feat than selling the Olsens in the first place.)

Thank you, Jana, for your query. Now everybody read this.